Man so far summer is going well I guess. It started off by the last day of school, man I was so happy. NO EXAMS FOR ME! =). But anywayz, I didn't have much planned for this summer except I was looking forward on going to Pakistan, Norway, and Paki-day mela!!! So the 1st few weeks I was shopping for clothes and stuff and gifts for my cousins, which I never met them in person in my life. And going to the gym for like 2 weeks. Then along came the flight....



THE FLIGHT
The flight was looong as hell, 22 hrs! Maybe more I don't know. The 1st flight was to Calgury, Canada (not sure how to spell that.. haha) that was about 4 hrs, which wasn't too bad. But then the flight from Canada to London. Good god it was a bytch! 8hrs and 50 mins! Man! Shit! Fuck!! Good god! Ahhhh! Haha. Anywayz, it was the WORST FLIGHT EVER. 1st of all this fat guy was sitting right next to me, and he lays a bomb (I mean as in holy ass stinkin bytch!) every 10 mins. I couldn't go asleep or listen to my cd player with relaxation. And then right b4 we were landing off, the plane stopped in mid-air cuz of a big storm was ahead of us. And then all of a sudden I felt this weird thing inside of my head as if something was gonna happen. Then this pain struck through my eye to the back of my head, pain I never felt b4 in my life. I couldn't take it, it felt like something was gonna burst out 4rm my head. Then 17 mins later! The gay plane finally landed on London. Then London airport, man what can I say, people looked like they came outta magazines or something. As if every1 was up to the fashion shit. Well when I got there I got hungry, so I bought a slice of pizza for 5 bux! Daym things are expensive there. Well yah anywayz...daym pounds! B4 all that, right when we came in the airport. We had a connected flight to Doha (some Middle-Eastern country or city) and we still had 30 mins to get in. But the guy sed no we cant get in, we're like y we still have 30 mins! The guy is like uhhh no cuz passengers have to get in the plane 30 mins b4.... I'm thinkin c'mon man we're like 5 mins late? Sooo cuz of the stupid flight delay from Air Canada. We had to stay in Doha for a day! The flight to there was the best! There were lil TV screens for every1 to change channels to whichever movie they wanna c. and the flight attendant, who ill never forget. She was the prettiest flight attendant I've ever seen. Namita. Yes she started talkin to me and my lil bro and stuff. Haha. Yah back to my flight. The flight to Doha to Pakistan wasn't bad at all (of course u know y) it was 6 hrs long and I was very tired.

PAKISTAN
The arrival to Pakistan was such a relief. It was morning of June 14th, 6am. And I had to use the restroom badly, so I went and I saw the toilet seats were attached to the ground. I was like uhhh I'm not gonna even try to figure out how to use this thing, so I was like forget it I can hold it for awhile. Then I met one of my mom's sisters for the 1st time. Yes it was a happy moment for everyone, especially for my mom (last time I went to Pakistan was when I was 2 months old!). And then I saw one of cousins, and then the rest of them came. I really didn't know what to say to any of them cuz I never met them u know. Some thought I wasn't talking cuz I didn't know Urdu. Of course I did, but I just needed time. The 1st thing I saw coming outta the airport wuz McDonalds ...aww man, it was good to c that cuz I don't eat haram foods anymore so this one was halal. Thank god! But the air felt very humid and hot. Pakistan is really hot I herd this year cuz of all the smoked bombs that were coming 4rm Afghanistan. So the air there is very polluted and get this yall... NO A/C's!!!!! The 1st five minutes of my presence there, I was in the car and next thing u know, there's beggars begging for money from me. I was nervous cuz I didn't know to give it or not and I still had my U.S. currency so I don't think it would've done him any good. Then the next stop. Yet another beggar, only this time... it wuz a kid. I felt really bad for them. And the area there looked very deserted and u c no grass. I was hoping that my grandma's house (the place where I was gonna stay at for a month) would be in a better area. But no people... I was stuck there.

-Grandma's House
After 20 minute of the drive, I saw one of my other cousins there and the rest of my mom's sisters. They all looked alike. But I still couldn't believe I was meeting them all for the very first time. At least my grandma had a/c units around her house (thank god). A/c there is really expensive, so not many people have it. They're in total of 15 of my cousins and 5 of my mom's sisters and 1 brother.

-The adjustment
The next 2 weeks was like maaan where the fuck are we at?! Like 1st the pain of my head started to come back ever since the flight, which went away after 2 weeks. Seeing that it gets hot in the room if u leave the door open to loong for each room cuz the a/c worx for only one room. And the electricity goes out every other day. And seeing how hot is was, and computers that literally shocks you if you touch it, and eating the same fucking food everyday which was rice, chicken salon, aaloo (potatoes), and home made bread.... every single day. The bathroom is literally a bathroom. There's a room with a shower and no tub. I asked my grandma uhhh where's the tub, she's like there's no tub here, u just take it. I'm like uhhh I see. But it was no use taking a shower there cuz the water isn't very clean anyway and right when you get outta the shower, you start to sweat again! I never broke out so badly. So I started giving up on taking care of myself. I was like fuck it man. What's the use, I mean u don't even see fine girls walking there and u just don't feel like doing anything. And I saw 2 outta like the whole Pakistan who looked pretty good. And man every time if there's a girl who's revealing to much of herself on TV, one of my uncles or aunties tell their kids to change the channel... I was like c'mon man they not even showing anything!!! The cable and DVDs, games, is allllll fake, all pirated, u find any real shit there. After seeing the environment there, my sibs and me were complaining to get outta here!! I never wanted to go home this bad. And usually I get sick of staying home...


-Stuff happening
One day while my cousins and I were outside at night, we saw this lady coming out of the park (which is in front of my grandma's house). So my cousin was like "oh pagal agai" (oh the crazy one is here). I'm like why you guys call her that, they're like no its the "das rupee wali" (10 rupee one). Why is she the 10 rupee one you ask? Cuz that's all she asks for from you and if you don't give it, then she'll get all crazy and start to bother you for it. So I'm like oh shit. So then she stopped walking and started to stare at us. I was getting scared cuz you couldn't even see her face and her hair is flying everywhere in the air. I tried looking at her feet to see if she was a witch or not, but no she wasn't one (cuz they say if u see ladies with their feet twisted backward then they're a witch). So anyway, she started walking towards us really fast!! We ran like a bitch to the house, and the police guard saw us run (every street or block has a cop for security reasons). So he stopped the "das rupee wali" and told her to go away. So yeah that was scary man.

Another time was once I went to my cousin's house, so rang the bell and waited for her to open the door. All of a sudden I herd this girl singing behind me. But it was no girl, it was a gay guy dressed up as a girl saying " oooo Rani agee hai" (oh Rani is here). I was like oh man! Then I started ringing the bell fast and telling my cousin to hurry up, but it was to late. By the time my cousin opened the door, gay guy was behind me asking for money (which you should over there), and I gave her 10 rupees (yeah I know, I'm a cheap ass).


I noticed I see lotta guys holding hands there though. I was like man there's lotta gays around here, but later I found out that in Pakistan they do it as friendship.


Another time I was going to go shop for some games and DVDs. so when we parked the car, right in front of us was a wall written, "hate U.S.A". About there I didn't want to get out of the car anymore, cuz I was scared. I was with my uncle that day, and some guy asked my uncle if I was from America, he says "no that's just his style to dress like that, you know kids these days."


I was going to use my cd player once and I noticed it wasn't working. That's when I realized what happened to it. During our connected flights, I had my cd player on my trolley and my sister was in front of me. So she stopped all of a sudden and I had to stop hard, and my cd player fell pretty hard and broke. *sniff*. It was only 2 months old yall and it died already. Anyway, my cousins didn't even know what it was cuz they don't have cd players there much. So yeah I was kinda surprised.


There this guy who sells women's clothing and you can ask him to model for you. Haha. So my aunt asked him to model for them, and I came out of the side saying "gay"! Lol. Man it was funny. Wish I had a daym camera. (Which I forgot to bring with me, all I have is videos).


One day I ordered food from KFC and when the deliveryman came, he asked me if I was from the UK. I was like no way man, I'm from the US. He's like please help me get out of here. I was like oh shit man. So I gave him my mom's e-mail to ask her about this stuff, and he looked happy when he went away. I was like wow; people really want to get out of here.


About now my hair was really bothering me and got me a hair cut from there. I noticed there's no electric tools used to cut hair. They use a pair of scissors, one bladed razor blade, and a comb. Which took the guy 10 minutes to do mine cuz I told him make it spiky. And people don't really have spiky hair there so that's why it took him awhile what to do. So the barber guy has this little kid working with him, watching on how he cuts my hair. Then out of nowhere the barber guy turns around and slaps him really hard across the face. I was shocked; I was like what the fuck! He's like ay stop looking at me cut his hair, go do some work! I felt bad for the guy, he had nothing to do. But he did my hair all right (thank god).

-2 weeks later
Things were finally getting ok, or started to get fun. The pain of my head went away, I met some nice looking girls, the E channel is uncensored there (weee!) and we started to eat out to KFC and Pizza Hut (god how much I use to miss those). Then I started to miss my father and my friends back in Houston a lot, especially my father. Which I got to talk to him once a week though. Then came along my uncle's wedding, which lasted pretty much the whole 2 weeks cuz of the big gaps in between the dayz. My cousins and I did a bhangra dance, which turned out pretty good. I had my camcorder around and making movies, and the other camera guy was there that was hired to film the wedding. And after the wedding he asked me for my age, so I said 17, he thought I was 20! I was like man I'm not that old. Daym that means like when I'm 97 people are going to think I'm a 100!


-More relatives
I met my dad's sister or puppi as they say it in Urdu. So I was like wow I'm meeting my dad's sister. She was really nice; she's just like my dad and looks like my grandpa a lot. So she told me a lot of stories of my dad when he was little. Which were really funny.
Like one time he was chasing a pigeon and landed on top of an old house roof. So he went after it and by the time he almost caught it, the whole roof fell down and he fell with it. Lol.
Another time was that him and his friend were riding a bike and went behind some old guy and slapped him behind his head, and ran away. Lol. And throw rocks and old people. Why? I don't know.


-The last day
It was the last day of my Pakistan experience and the night before I left I stayed up all night talking to my cousins and really I didn't feel like going back home. I mean I was going to miss these people a lot, because we have no relatives in Houston, so yeah. And then we left and our trip didn't end there yet. Next stop, Norway....


NORWAY
Right when came to Norway it was 11pm and the there was a little sunlight still up. Yes you guys, they get only like 3 hours of night and the rest is day! It was crazy, but the weather felt so good. It was cold and raining that day. The temperature at Norway is just right, you don't need an a/c. and what a beautiful place it was. Everything was on top of mountains and stuff and it actually looked like someone painted the whole place or it came out of a painting. It was all natural beauty. The population is very small there, only 500,000! And 30,0000 of those are desis (Pakistani/ Indian people). So over there we stayed only a week and did a lot of sight seeing, like the ski jump that happened for the winter Olympics. And this perfect view of the whole town. People there are really nice, you can even bring your dogs to stores! The dogs there are trained to be good, not to attack people. And I met my future brother in law there, and I see him as an older brother now. I think we got closer than last time I met him cuz we did pretty much the same crazy stuff. Like going to other people's parties and eat their food and wear a wig at the wig shop and run around everywhere with it. Lol yeah. Then after a week we left to go back to Houston...


Back home
-London again
When we got to London airport, there was this pretty fine girl came up to me to ask if I want a drink that she was giving as a sample. So I'm like sure, but before I drank it I notice why is there such low quantity of it. So I asked her what is this first of all, she's like oh this is vodka and the other is whiskey. I'm like oh man then never mind (you gotta be 18 and older there to drink).


-Houston
Finally I was home at a Friday night in 9pm and the first thing I see is my dad. I was glad to see him and we went home and for some reason I forgot how to do things in my room. The way I use to do, operate things. That night I ate, talked to my dad, watched the 7 hour video I made, but we watched a little bit of it, and went to sleeeeeeep.

-aamir siddiqui